An emo blog post with a bootleg vid of an indie chick. So Portland.

I'm really tired. It's only 11:02 a.m. Oi....

This is what the next four months will be like: Work at night, go home, shower, go to school for several hours, go home, sleep, wake up, and start it all again. Since school is less than two weeks away now, I'm trying to stay up as late as I would on any given school day, to get myself used to it. Since today is a Tuesday, and I'll have class until 10 on Tuesdays, I am just about to go to bed. Boy am I tired! This will be difficult, but I know the LORD with sustain me through this.

In addition to tired, I'm also feeling melancholy today. Last week someone died. I'm handling this better than I thought I'd be, but I'm still feeling emotions I didn't know I had. On Sunday I found out that the boy I in some ways consider to be my first love is engaged. To the girl that he chose over me when we were seventeen. I'm happy for them, I really am. Reading the engagement story she posted on facebook was painful for me, but necessary. It really showed me that we weren't meant to be. Still, I think back fondly to that cheesy high school dance and how I thought he was all I needed. I've grown so much since then, I'm so much stronger, and it's hard to believe I ever felt that way. Praise God for the things He has done in my life to show me how my life was meant to be so much different than I envisioned it at seventeen!

So I now resign to be for the "night" feeling tired and melancholy, and I will pray the LORD will take my mind off these things and allow me to focus on school. Two weeks of summer left, but I'm trying to cram it with homework. I really don't want to fall behind this semester... and getting As would be great too.

I should tell you that you were my first love.