I've bounced around a lot this year on my position on marriage. At some times I've felt very strongly that I do not want to get married, and at other times I've turned to goo at the thought of being the matriarch of Perfect American Nuclear Family. I guess I've thought a lot about it this year, and I can't say that I've necessarily reached a conclusion, but I certainly have learned a lot about myself.
For instance, I've learned that I am by nature a workaholic. I like to work. I really do. And sometimes I do it too often. I have a hard time saying no to extra shifts. Because I work so much, I don't have very much time spent at home, and when I am home, I don't want to do things I find trivial, such as housework, chores, cooking, homework, or spending time with my roommates. No, instead of those trivial things, I prefer to do things that certainly will last me a lifetime: check facebook, tweet, surf the web for music, lather, rinse, repeat.
Do you sense a problem here?
I'm working on it. Believe me. It's a struggle for me to actually make myself a meal, sit down, eat, and not rush off to work. Case in point: this video above. I worked tonight, picking up two extra shifts from a sick coworker (causing me to cancel plans with my roommates to make lamb shanks), and as I worked I thought of the yummy meal I wanted to make for myself when I got home. However, once home, all I wanted was to be fed and in bed. I didn't want to cook at all; I was too tired. So, I scrounged around for something tasty and ready to eat. (Let me tell you, it is annoying having no microwave... makes leftovers so much more difficult to figure out.) And I ended up with olives. A can of olives.
WHO THE HELL EATS A CAN OF OLIVES FOR DINNER?
I swear, I can't take care of myself. Which brings me back to my original thought, marriage. I think I need to get married because I need that constant reminder to take care of myself, and when I can't seem to manage that, I need someone to take care of me. My parents' kitchen has been and is to this day egalitarian: my mom and dad split dinner responsibilities fairly evenly. Both my parents work their asses off, so they're understanding of the other being too tired to cook. I so need that! There's this myth that women have to always cook. In the Watkins household, consider that myth busted. My mom worked just as hard as my dad, and there was never a gender/pride issue when it came to putting food on the table at dinnertime. (Especially with so many kids!)
Suppose that's another thing I've learned about myself: I, like my mother, am a career woman. I don't think I'll ever be content to be a housewife. Can't do it. I need to work. Even if I have a husband and five kids, I gotta work. (Haha especially if I have 5!) I guess that disqualifies me with at least half the single guys at my school, but I don't care. I briefly dated a guy at the beginning of the semester, and even though he said things to me like "I really respect your work ethic" I just couldn't believe him, because he was always complaining about being short on cash but very passive about seeking a job. What did he know about working 40 hours a week, including overnight shifts, while going to school? What did he know about rent and bills and groceries and budget and paychecks? Next to nothing. I just couldn't date him (well, for many other reasons as well) because there was no way he was going to connect with me on that level.
So here's my personals ad for Craigslist: SWF, HWP, workaholic, enjoys olives, ISO VGL, HWP, P, FS SM for LTR. (Oh the funny things you can find on the internet!) I'll let you know how that one turns out. Maybe I should swing back to my no-marriage-for-me stance.
The good news is, I'm only 21. I seriously don't need to have any answers at this point. Ideas, dreams, hopes, and reality checks are good enough for me for now. Enjoy the video. It's good to laugh at myself every once in a while.
0 comments:
Post a Comment